~first posted 9 Jan 13

This blog post sucks.inconceivable I cannot believe that I almost was willing to spend my hard earned money buying this crap right up until I realized that it was free. BUT I’M STILL PISSSED OFF because I spent a lot of my very valuable time reading this because I’m a very slow reader, but don’t think that makes me dumb because it doesn’t! I just take my time so that I can think about stuff but this blog post is just so stupid I should never have even started reading it but it looked interesting and the title was really cool but it really isn’t so don’t you start reading it too, especially if you’re like me and you just have to read everything until the end even though you know you’re just wasting your time but you can’t stop, not because I’m compulsive or anything but because I just keep hoping that the joker will have something really good to say but he NEVER DOES! So don’t read this. Read Fifty Shades instead because I think that was the best thing ever written since the Twilight series. Really. IMHO.  “Angry Face Emoticon”


~first posted 13 Nov12

Without conflict, there is no story.

And we love story.  Humorous banter, pungent descriptions, unique situations are appreciated, of course.  We are discriminating consumers, demanding the greatest elegance in our author’s elocution. But listen up, buddy–What’s the problem, here?  Page one, line one:  Who’s in trouble and why?  How deep in it is she?  How incredibly glad am I that I’m just reading this thing and not actually the one who has gotta get out of the box, evade the killers, patch up this gaping wound and overcome my significant other’s histrionic infidelities?  I’ll give you two paragraphs, tops.  Okay, maybe three if the first one has some really great hook of a description of something, but then it better be damn good or sayonara, cupcake.  There are a million things to read out there.  I got no time for you, otherwise.  Tell me a story.