Anesthesia is Pretty Difficult (5)–and Reading Can be Hard, too

Anesthesia is the scientific study of the subtle screw-up.

Same anesthesia rotation, different day, same inappropriately confident practitioner (me) today assigned to the gentle care of an eighty-two year old gentleman scheduled to undergo a routine hernioraphy.  Did I say routine?  Why yes, I did.  Hell, people, we do this shit a thousand times a day, let’s put this truck in D and get this done…BgicidBCQAAGm96

First case of the day, I’m a little late arriving to the break of dawn party that is the OR at this fine Midwestern University Hospital (17 year old Vega only starts by popping the clutch as I roll downhill), surgeon is annoyingly early and already pacing about, giving me that smile and saying, “Hey, take your time,” which means “Move your ass or I’m filing out this ‘Reason the Case was Delayed form.’ ”  I’m moving my ass, but this eighty-two year old ain’t a spring chicken, he’s taking about twenty minutes just to assume the position on the OR table so I can put in my obligatory spinal.  (Because, remember, everybody here gets a spinal.)  As Nurse Slowly Helpful helpfully but slowly helps patient curl up on his side “just like a baby or a comma” I’m marveling at her mastery of the mixed metaphor as I run in my mandatory liter of IV saline.  This eighty-two year old is on beta-blockers (who the hell isn’t?) and has the essential hypertension.  I’m about to relieve him of his spinal-cord mediated vascular tone with my spinal anesthetic, so in goes the vascular volumizer in anticipation of this physiological phenomenon.  An ounce–or liter–of prevention, you know.

Finally, the patient is positioned with Nurse holding him with maternal tenderness in fetal/comma position, I’ve got my gloves on and precalculated dose of magic local anesthetic drawn up as I notice Surgeon With No Home Life filling in the blanks of the “Case Delayed” form, but before he can sign illegibly I’ve done my Modified Taylor Technique thing and say, “DONE!” as I dramatically strip off my gloves, standing up to help Nurse  Nurturing reposition elderly widower patient with murmured sweet kindnesses (“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”) onto his back and crank the bed into the crazy angle that will give my man here just the right level of unilateral hernioraphy without hurting, perfect regional technique.  I’m thinking that, ‘Not so bad at all, no sirree. Damn, Geller, that guy was calcified and old and scoliotic and that was pretty sweet, first try and boom, baby, I could probably give a spinal to Michelangelo’s David if somebody could get him off that pedestal and lay him on his side for thirty seconds.’ Or something along those lines as I do my post-spinal first set of vitals-BP 176/90-well, you knew the old geezer had the hypertension going in, no problem, spinal will fix that, too.  I check my level and, of course, it’s perfect, so I pointedly announce to Surgeon Suddenly that we’re all set, he can scrub if he wants to get things started, big day of surgery ahead, wink, wink.

As the nurse is prepping the patient, I ask him how he’s feeling as I lovingly apply nasal cannula and he smiles at me upside down and says “Good,” like he knows that he’s in the hands of someone who’s taking really good care of him and he really  appreciates me, so I turn smiling to my drawer of a million medicines and select my little glass ampule of ephedrine from the neat little cubbyhole that is its special home, glance at the label as I crack the top and draw up my “just-in-case, never-hurts-to-be-ready, hell-it’s-not-my-money” pressor and dilute it 10:1, labelled and leave it lying on my little work space.

I’m humming to myself and glancing at the schedule to see if I can use a spinal on the next case (of course I can) as surgeon checks for effective anesthetic by pinching patient with pointed Adson tweezers, I nod at him with a smile as my patient remains oblivious to this assault.  Surgery ensues.  I recheck ancient patient’s BP, now 110/72.  See, I knew that the spinal was working and his hypertension is now normotension and what’s better than that, huh?  I look down fondly on my patient, now realizing that he looks just like the grandfather I never knew as he softly snores in contented comfort.  Sigh.  Isn’t anesthesia great?

“I think I might be sick,” patient mutters and I ask him “Excuse me?” noticing the slight sheen of perspiration on my Grandad’s forehead.  “Just a little queasy,” he says, smiling apologetically and I nod sympathetically as I recheck his pressure and-what do you know?–BP now 98 over don’t bother to notice because obviously it’s on its way down so I spin and push a little ephedrine, because I knew this was going to happen, I’m prepared.  I lovingly dry sweat from my patient’s brow with gauze and give him my reassuring smile but I’m noticing he’s looking a little pasty in his pallor.  Let’s just recheck that BP though it’s only been two minutes since the last one and–what the hell?– his pressure’s eighty?  That can’t be right, I pushed the pressor, should be working by now, let’s try that BP again and now it’s 70 and now I’m the one suddenly nauseous and I feel sweat appear on the back of my neck as I push half the remaining syringe of ephedrine.  I lean over my Poppa and ask, “How’re you doing?”

He looks me straight in the eye and says, “I think I’m dying.”  He seems sincere about this.  I check his BP, which is now somewhere south of seventy and I’m forced to agree with his clinical judgement.  A cold trickle of sweat runs down my back as I call my attending.

Kindly attending anesthesiologist appears and is immediately concerned when he sees the abject fear in my face.  “What’s up, Geller?”  Well, I explain, not my patient’s blood pressure though it should be because I’ve given him all this ephedrine (I hold up nearly empty syringe) but his pressure just keeps dropping and he thinks he’s dying and he looks like crap and I think he might be right and–

“Hold on.  You gave him ephedrine?’  I nod.  “Show me.”  I hand him the syringe.  “No, show me the vial you drew this up from.”  I look around and find the vial in the little plastic can attached to my cart and hand it to him as I sweat semicircles under my arms.

“Everything okay up there?” Surgeon asks, looking over the drape at our little tete-a-tete.

“Sure, no problem,” Anesthesia Attending reassures.  He turns to me and shows me the vial.  Sotto voce, he says to me, “This isn’t ephedrine.  It’s chlorpromazine.”

“WHAT?  Of course it’s ephedrine, I looked at the label,” I stammer as I look at the vial that says “Chlorpromazine” pretty clearly right there on the label.  No way, I’m thinking as I scan my drawer, noticing for the first time that even though every little vial is color-coded for safety, chlorpromazine and ephedrine just happen to be the exact same color and hey, look at that, they’re also right next to each other in the little cubbies, isn’t that just great, maybe the person who stocks this shit just missed a little in his underpaid, rushing through his job stocking my damn drawer.  Stop, Geller, just think–but I’m having a hard time thinking because the OR just turned to shades of gray and I’m hearing a roaring sound in my ears as I recall from Pharmacology For Fools Like Medical Students 101 in a sudden flash that chlorpromazine is an alpha blocker, strange the little facts that come rushing back from memory, especially since alpha blockade is the exact opposite of what my patient needed, OH MY GOD I’VE KILLED GRANDPA!  I drop heavily onto chair reserved for incompetent anesthesia wanna-be’s and seriously consider throwing up.

Meanwhile, Anesthesia Attending (a man who can actually read a label, not just pass that ampule in front of his face and seem to see it) has swung into action and is giving my patient real ephedrine straight up and wide open fluids and turns to me, saying “Go take a break, Geller, you look like you’re going to puke.”  I nod and take his advice.

When I return, only a little relieved that there’s no code cart outside the door, Anesthesia Attending is smiling.  “He’s fine, Geller.  Actually, I charted your chlorpromazine, he was nauseous, not completely out of line, there,” but I know he’s just trying to be nice.  Actually, it was exactly the wrong thing and it’s only by the grace of God Almighty that I didn’t kill this man.  “Pressure was low there for a while, I think he should stay overnight, maybe check some enzymes, make sure…”  Make sure I didn’t give the guy an MI, he’s kindly not finishing in his sentence.  I nod and thank him as I take over my case again.  Anesthesia Attending gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze as he leaves with a smile that clearly says, “You fucked that up, Geller.”

I stayed the night with my kindly old grand-dad.  He thought it was a little weird, I’m sure, that this twenty-something year old wanted to hang out and play cards and kept looking at his bedside monitor as he told me about what he did in the war and his kids and a lot of other stuff I don’t remember because I was just so damn grateful the old guy didn’t die on me.

Anesthesia is Hard-3

The Subtle Science of Sedation

As a general sugeon trained in a specific era and at a particular type of academic institution, I was taught that I should be able to do everybody’s job in the hospital just a little better than the folks whose job it was to do just that thing full time and to the exclusion of everything else after spending many years learning to do just that stuff.  It was believed that in this manner, we could protect our vulnerable, recovering patients from all the other doctors and health care professionals who didn’t care as much about the patient as we did.  With the foregoing mindset, I launched upon a two month rotation on the anesthesia service of a very large, very academic medical center.  One can easily foresee that this was not to go very well.  Not well at all.  Anesthesia practice is predicated on a team approach, an “all-for-one,” “we’re all in this together for the good of the patient,” approach. If an anesthesiolgist (or anesthetist) is having difficulty with an intubation or the patient takes a sudden turn, he or she is trained to immediately seek the assistance of a colleague.  Ego is put aside for the good of the patient.   I was trained to take a different approach.Top Gun

For reasons that still elude me to this day, during this anesthesia rotation I was permitted to manage patients with an extraordinary degree of independence.  This may have something to do with the fact that I had no official supervisor.  I fell through the cracks, in a way, and the result was that I managed the anesthetic of quite a number of patients with a degree of independence not even given to anesthesia residents until their last year of training.  The physicians directing me thought that everything would be okay if they just assigned me the simplest, most straight-forward cases.  Interesting point, though, is that there is no such thing as an easy case for the truly incompetent.

Many cases come to mind.  It should be noted that I did this anesthesia rotation during a time period and in an institution that held the technique of regional anesthesia in very high regard.  That is, every case was approached with the attitude of “Why not use a spinal?”  So I did a lot of spinal anesthesia.  I got, I thought, very good at spinal anesthesia.  I could place a spinal in a couple of minutes on patients of every age and body type.  I was instructed in various approaches and was fairly skilled at several of them.  Wherein lies the problem.  The technique of anesthesia is not difficult to master, it is the practice.  As a surgeon in training, learning technique was what I did.  I didn’t have a clue about anesthesia practice, however.

On one Monday morning, I was assigned to provide anesthesia to a patient undergoing an open knee procedure to be performed by the Chairman of Orthopedics.  It should be noted that the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery was equivalent to Tutenkamen of ancient Egypt.  He was easily the institutional equivalent of The Chaiman of Thoracic Surgery (see “Mommas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Surgeons”), but more powerful.  Therefore, this assignment surprised me.  I had been on the anesthesia service for several weeks and was looking good. (Definition of looking good:  Nobody knew who I was.  That is, I hadn’t been noticed at all since I hadn’t killed anyone yet.  Close, but no permanent loss of life.)  Even so, this was a plum case, usually assigned to a senior anesthesia resident.  But the seniors were all away at conference and the administrative anesthesiologist had no idea who I was, he just knew that I wasn’t a junior anesthesia resident and assumed I, therefore, must be the guy.  I shrugged and trundled off to see the patient.  He turned out to be a twenty year old football player who had blown out his knee in practice.  Nice guy. Very large.  Muscular.   I introduced myself, did my preop assessment, and informed him that I’d be giving him a spinal anesthetic, of course, since I gave everybody a spinal anesthetic.  The patient was fine with this.

Placement of the spinal went great.  It always did, I was pretty good at it.  I got the patient comfortably positioned on the OR table and started in on my hypnotic “You are getting sleepy” dialogue with the young patient as I began to infuse a little hypnotic potion in his IV.  Again, this was the eighties, when about the only IV drug for this sort of thing was Valium, a drug which was notorious for its great variability in effect when given IV, particularly on young, anxious individuals.  Like football players undergoing sugery.  I checked the efficacy of my spinal anesthetic and was pleased to note that I had achieved a unilateral (one sided) block to a level of about the groin.  It was even on the side to be operated on.  Perfect.  I was proud of myself.  I had dosed the spinal for a duration of two hours, as the Chief Orthopedic resident doing the case with the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery told me the case would take “about an hour, hour and a half, tops.”  I gave the patient a little more Valium in the IV and murmured sweet nothings in his ear.  He was asleep.  All good, I started my charting.

I turned away from my charting when the patient asked what was going on.  I was annoyed, as the patient had been nicely sedated and asleep.  Nothing should be going on.  I looked over the screen to see the Chief Ortho resident putting a pneumatic tourniquet high on the thigh of my patient.  “Hey,” I said.  “You’re operating on his knee.”  The ortho resident smiled at this information.  “Orthopods hate blood,” was his response.  This was a little problem.  A pneumatic tourniquet inflated to twice my patient’s blood pressure did not feel good.  While it was within the region of my block, it was much closer than I had anticipated.  I dialed the OR table to trendelenburg (head down) position, hoping that I could get the local anesthetic bathing the patient’s spinal cord to drift a little more upstream, giving him a higher level of numbness.  This only works for a few minutes after the spinal was placed, however, so I wasn’t feeling terribly confident at this point.  And I couldn’t recheck the level of anesthesia, because now the nurse was starting to prep the patient’s leg with antibacterial solution.  Just to be safe, I elected to give the patient more Valium.  And some intravenous morphine, too.  Just in case.  Back to charting as the patient began to snore.

The case began uneventfully.  The patient snored peacefully through the initial incision and exposure, my spinal having achieved a nice, dense block.  The chief ortho resident, like all chief ortho residents at institutions of great learning such as this one, was brilliant and highly skilled.  I watched over the sterile drapes as the chief resident put down his instruments and started to do nothing.

“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to fix it, too.  That’s what it said on the consent, you know,” I said to the ortho chief.  Ortho chief smiled at me.  “Gotta wait for The Big Man.  That’s his job,” ortho chief replied.  I looked at my watch.  One hour into the case.  I looked at the upside down face of my linebacker patient.  He was smiling through a nice, drug-induced dream.  I shrugged and went back to charting.  Half an hour later, the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery had still not arrived.  “Call him,”  I told the ortho chief resident.  “Yeah, right,” was his response.  “How long once he gets here?” I asked, looking at my watch.  ‘Hour and a half, tops, the guy had said. I began thinking that I might have to switch to a general anesthetic if this went on too long.  For that, I would have to call in my attending to let him know what I was doing.  That would be embarrassing.  I existed on the technique of staying inconspicuous.  If I called in my attending, I would have to explain that I had miscalculated the dose on the spinal.  Embarrassing.  “Once he gets here?  Not long,” ortho resident said.  He went back to doing nothing.  My patient chortled.

Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery swept into the room ten minutes later.  Finally, I thought.  I checked the patient.  He seemed comfortable, though his heart rate was up a bit.  More Valium.  A touch more narcotic.  I looked over the drapes.  Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery was still not scrubbed in.  “Where’d he go?” I asked.  Ortho resident shrugged.  Ten minutes later, Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery, gray haired and dashingly handsome, re-entered the OR, hands held up and dripping.  “Let’s get this man back on the field!” he boomed.  “Go Yellow!”  I rolled my eyes.  Finally, I murmured under my breath.

“It hurts,” my patient said.  I looked down.  His eyes were open.  “My leg hurts,” he said.  I looked over the screen.  Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery was finally thinking about maybe doing some surgery.  I looked at my watch.  Ninety minutes of tourniquet time.  Ouch.  “No problem,” I told the patient.  I infused narcotics. More Valium.  His eyes closed.  This was going to be close.  “Not long once he gets here,” the resident had said.  Just in case, I started drawing up drugs for a general anesthetic.  Just in case.

The patient murmured something unintelligible.  His heart rate was up.  His eyes were closed.  “What did you say?” I asked softly, mouth close to his ear.  “Fucking son-of-a-bitch,” he murmured softly.  Oh, that’s what you said. I gave more Valium.  I looked over the drape.  Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery was chatting up the scrub nurse as he slowly repaired linebacker ligaments.  I made a hurry-up gesture to ortho resident.  He smiled and shrugged sheepishly.

That’s it, I thought.  Embarrassing or not, I better call my attending and switch to general anesthesia.  It wasn’t my fault that the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery was a molasses-slow, late-arriving horse’s ass.  We were over two hours on my spinal.  No way I had any anesthetic left at the level of the tourniquet.  We were on borrowed time.  I started to turn around to use the phone to call in my attending.

Now every anesthesiologist (and anesthetist, okay?) knows that there is a perfect plane of sedation that you don’t ever want your patient to achieve.  It is that level of sedation where the patient is confused and completely disinhibited, but not asleep.  If this were Top Gun, and I was a taller version of Tom Cruise, the Maverick of brash anesthesiologists in training, it is at this exact moment that the soundtrack switches to a very loud rendition of “Danger Zone.”  As I dialed the phone with my back to my patient, I heard the sound of Velcro arm restraints being ripped in two.  Then I heard my patient say, very loudly, “FUCKING SON OF A BITCH.”  I turned back to see my very large, linebacker patient sitting bolt upright on the OR table.  He had ripped down the drapes between us and the operating field.  The patient stared at his open knee.  He repeated “FUCKING SON OF A BITCH.”  The Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery, the ortho chief resident, the scrub nurse, and the medical student hoping to some day become an orthopedic surgeon, all stared back at the patient, incredulous.  In the words which would later be stolen by Goose in that classic movie, I said, “This is not good.”

I grabbed the full syringe of Surital that I had just drawn up in anticipation of having to induce general anesthesia.  A “stick” of Surital, a short-acting barbiturate, was our general anesthetic induction of choice in those days.  I rapidly pushed the whole stick into the patient’s IV.  He flopped back with a thud onto his pillow, deeply unconcious.  I readjusted the sterile drapes to once again separate my world from the sterile operating field.  I infused a muscle relaxant into the patient’s IV and proceeded to intubate the patient and connect him to the ventilator.  There was complete silence in the OR.

The Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery broke the silence.  “What the FUCK was that?” he asked.  I returned to charting my new anesthetic technique.  Not a good time to call my attending just yet.  “You there,” the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery bellowed.  “Behind the drapes!”  I stood up.  “Yes, sir?”  “What the FUCK was that?” he repeated.  “What?”  I asked.  He looked at me, astonished.  “What?  What, what?  That!”  he said, pointing at me, then down at the patient.  “Not sure what you mean,” I said.  The Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery looked around at the others scrubbed at the OR table.  “Didn’t you guys see that?” he asked.  Ortho resident shrugged.  Med student nodded.  Scrub nurse chose to straighten the instruments on her back table.  This just made the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery a bit more pissed off.  He strode over to the wall and mashed the bright red code blue button on the wall with his bloody, gloved hand.  No less than five attending anesthesiologists came crashing through the door.

“WHAT?”  “What’s going on?”  “What’s wrong?”  “Is it a code?”  “Aarhgh?”  They each said, surrounding me.  I shrugged and pointed to the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery.  Two nurses rolled the code cart into the room.  More anesthesia attendings and residents entered.  Everyone looked around.  Everything looked okay.  The patient was asleep, under anesthesia.  The ventilator sighed assuringly.  The monitors beeped happily.  I reapplied the Velcro arm restraints and said nothing.  The anesthesia attendings turned to the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery.  “What’s wrong?” the senior anesthesia attending, my attending, asked him.  The Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery stammered, “The patient, he was awake, he screamed at me, he called me a fucking son-of-a-bitch!”  The anesthesia attendings all turned to me.  “I had to switch to a general.  The tourniquet time is over two hours.”  I raised my eyebrows significantly and rolled my eyes toward the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery.  “We had to wait over a half hour for What’s His Name, here.”  The Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery began to turn bright red.  “Do you know who I am?” he seethed at me.  I shrugged.  Went back to charting.  My attending stepped over and began to assess the patient.  Everyone else drifted out, shaking their heads.  The code cart was withdrawn.  My attending went over my anesthesia record, which was perfect, by he way.  I loved charting.  It made everything look so neat.

The Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery was still seething, arms crossed.  “Well?” he demanded of my attending.  My attending straightened up from the chart and looked at the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery.  “You’re pretty long on the tourniquet, Bill.  Maybe you should try to finish up?” my attending said.

“That’s it?” the Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery asked.  “That’s all you’re going to say?”

“Yeah,” my attending said.  “And now I’m leaving.”  He turned to me before he left.  “Give me a call if you need a break, Geller.”  He winked at me.

 

 

Anesthesia isn’t Easy-1

The Michael Jackson Edition

A doctor’s formative years are often telling.  If during the first year of medical school you fall in love with gross anatomy, you really have no choice but to pursue a career in surgery. After spending a year exploring the new and fascinating territory that is your personal cadaver, dissecting along tissue planes formed or nerves stretched as an embryo, some of us just can’t see putting it all aside.  Very soon, one realizes that the only physicians that need to know much about anatomy are surgeons and gynecologists.  Everyone else is pretty much practicing applied pharmacology.  Doesn’t matter where the iliopsoas muscle lives or if it’s your hypogastric plexus that’s pathetically paretic–write the script and see if the patient is better in a couple of weeks. If you love anatomy, if you pine for those early mornings smelling the formaldehyde perfume of your best dead friend, you’re going to be a surgeon.images

Similarly, anesthesiologists are practicing practical physiologists.  In the physiology lab, the subject (woof!) is attached to an array of monitors as the recently pubescent physician infuses various pharmacologic agents or inhaled mixtures of oxygen plus whatever.  Agent X goes in the vein, the heart rate goes up and the blood pressure goes down.  Reverse the effect with agent Y.  See what happens when you add a dash of inhaled agent Z.  At the end of the lab, give the happy subject a treat.  Seven years later, anesthesiologists are expertly doing the same thing to people.  Except for the treats.

During the formative years of every physician, but anesthesiologists in particular, one learns a great deal of respect for people physiology.  People are predictable, but not perfectly so.  We are men, or women, or children–not machines.  Herein lies the challenge.  Almost every time you give the patient your dependable drug, he responds as expected.  Almost every time.  It’s that “almost” that challenges every anesthesiologist.  The occasional patient that responds not quite as expected, a little too emphatically or a bit reluctantly.  Adjustments are titrated on the fly.  The rare, but really exciting, individual that displays a completely inappropriate response, such as anaphylaxis.  It is for this reason, this subtlety, that anesthesiologists are carefully trained, not born.  Like the practice of surgery, it is not a skill that can be mastered by reading the textbook, even if you’re really smart.  The really smart/experienced anesthesiologists know this especially well.  Then throw in the fact that the patient is having the trauma of surgery that the anesthesiologist must compensate for.  Some surgical procedures are more easily compensated for than others.  Some surgeons are more easily compensated for (see earlier blog post Never Say Oops in the OR“).

The practice of anesthesiology, however, suffers from one towering challenge above all; a challenge unique among all physicians.  Anesthesiologists must be perfect.  It’s a problem.  No other physician is held to such a high standard.  If you come to your surgeon with a tumor blocking your bowel, rest assured that he or she is going to do everything in his/her power to extirpate the neoplasm and restore your comfortable continuing existence.  But there will be pain.  And a scar or two.  Perhaps you’ll have some hiccup in your ability to digest really deep dish pizza from now on, but you’re happy to be alive.  Same with every other field of medicine–except anesthesia.  The practice of an anesthesiologist is to take a perfectly mentating person and put him into a profound coma.  But just for a while, then magically reverse that comatose state and restore the patient immediately to complete normalcy, preferably without any trace of the experience, not even nausea or a missing molar.  No fair if the patient is just about the same as before he had the life-saving procedure; say, he can remember almost everybody from his high school graduating class but has a slight problem coming up with the name of that girl he married.  Not good enough.  The patient must awaken happy, comfortable–normal.  Best case scenario, the patient emerges from anesthesia by completing the punch line to the joke he was reciting at the time of anesthetic induction three hours ago.  Extra points for an exceptionally satisfying dream during the procedure.  Nothing less than a perfect return to the pre-anesthetized state is acceptable.

As one can imagine, this can, at times, be a bit of a challenge.  Consider the inconvenient fact that nobody who’s normal lays down on an operating table.  Patients are sick, many very ill, some with years of undiagnosed/uncared-for illnesses now being subjected to the significant stress of an operation.  The most stressful thing this patient experienced in the previous ten years may have been lifting the television remote control.  Occasionally, the patient is horribly, critically ill.  Doesn’t matter–the anesthetic must be perfect, and certainly not the cause of even the sickest patient’s demise.  The surgery is allowed to kill him, but not the anesthetic.

So if you’ve ever had an operation, and you didn’t spend the entire time screaming, and you woke up pretty much thinking like your self thought before that whole operation thing: Thank your anesthesiologist.  Send him a card.  Or actually pay the bill.  Whatever.  Just don’t try it at home.